you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
