My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
