im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
