Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
