I accidentally burped into my bong.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
