You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
