I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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