it was like eating out sand paper
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
