I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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