You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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