I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
