Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
