Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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