you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
