So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
