Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
