whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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