New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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