i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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