note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
