Your mouth is God's brothel.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
