I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
