How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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