Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
