Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
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He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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