I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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