some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wish I only lived at night.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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