babies were throwing up all over the place
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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