Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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