the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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