butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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