nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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