i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
3 2 1 whiskey
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
