I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
