Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
