I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
