I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
