why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
