That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
