We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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