Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
