Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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