But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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