for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I didn't notice because vodka
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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