theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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