Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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