I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
