I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
