She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
