i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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