everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize