Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
