I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
