I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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