she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
