oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
