I must be too annoying 4 u.
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
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Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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