My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
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Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
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He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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