I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
